routine

i've never liked the idea of routine. for most of my childhood, it was just one of those things i negatively associated with adults. it never made sense, and it sounded monotonous—the death of joy. then in college and early early adulthood, i recognized it as the enemy of spontenaity, resisting the idea of it, despite of course having an implicit routine. it's always been an undesirable concept in my head, until it completely flipped last week.

even when not consciously aware of your regular behaviors, we repeat the same activities in probably very consistent patterns. when i was young: school, homework, sports, seeing friends. as an adult: work, cooking, cleaning, exercise, shopping, socializing, etc.

the important realization i had recently is that routine always exists. it's just up to you whether or not you're intentionally engaging in its formation and execution. of course you tend to do similar things each week, the question is just whether they are actively or passively regular: are you deciding where to direct your energy, or just letting habits emerge out of need?

on one hand, it sounds spiritually aligned to let habits emerge out of need. surely being present and spontaneous should make me maximally responsive to the dynamism of being alive. but the problem is twofold:

1. many needs don't reveal themselves in obvious ways (if at all), nor on the necessary timeline
2. many solutions require planning and commitment (or risk wasting money)

for example:

• not exercising for most people only becomes a serious issue after many years
• going to the gym requires a membership, or exorbitant prices for day passes
• cooking requires shopping, timely use of ingredients that can spoil, and constant decision making
• staying committed to hobbies takes discipline and scheduling

all of these are commitments that require some degree of forethought, and planning ahead reduces a lot of cognitively expensive decision making that saps your energy during the day. having a set rotation of meals makes it far easier to shop each week and decide what to eat on any given day, as does meal prep, and knowing what day you set aside to get groceries can make it easier to accomplish.

what made me reconsider my relationship to the idea of routine, just last week, was a few different observations of my past year and the varying success i had at keeping up with my many hobbies:

1. without the intention to do a specific hobby THIS week, and a vague idea of which days it could happen on, the chances of it happening are low (especially if i wanted to invite people to join)
2. a routine is NOT synonymous with a schedule—routines can be fluid and dynamic, with intentions for events to happen in a specific time range, instead of preordaining a specific day or time block
3. when i get sucked into work, have to deal with relationship stress, or experience any other unexpected perturbation to my average existence, the first things to go are the unscheduled ones (grocery shopping), and then the fun but optional ones (hobbies)

all of these observations swirled into the realization that without routine i wouldn't be able to do anything i wanted to do (skate, climb, rest, cook) consistently enough to be worth the money i spend on gear, nor would i be able to practice them enough to improve.

so now i love the idea of routine: it's the thing that ensures i get to do everything i want to do in a week and work toward my desired lifestyle of having fun, eating well, staying fit, enjoying personal time, and seeing my friends—every single week. when my routine falters, my life (and mental state) are chaos.